Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Today we are going to examine what an essay is and what goes into one (parts of an essay).

Here are some notes from this class:
The purpose of an essay is to explain
We use them everyday (an instruction manual is an essay; a tourist brochure is an essay; an opinion piece is an essay; a letter is an essay; an article is an essay)
Essays are used to show perspective, explain a position, instruct on how to do something or persuade someone around to your point of view.
Essays can be very long or very short; what matters though, is that they will always have an introductory paragraph, at least one body paragraph, and a concluding paragraph
The introductory paragraph is the most important in that it will get your reader interested or turn them off from reading further.

Questions to accompany “Keep it to yourself, please”

INSTRUCTIONS: You may do this with a partner.

1. What is the writer’s purpose in writing this column? Keep in mind that there is probably more than one.

2. How does the writer suck you in to reading it? Is this approach effective? Explain.

3. What is the tone of this essay? (Tone is the author’s attitude toward the subject)

4. What is the mood of this essay (mood is the overall feeling produced in the audience by the text)

5. Is this a serious piece or a humourous piece?

6. Locate three pieces of evidence (fact or generalities about humans) in this essay. Write them down.

7. Locate three pieces of opinion in this essay. Write them down.

The Reading: Keep it to yourself, please
by Dawn Adam, Spotlight Editor

Once upon a time there were millions of little children. These children had to be taught how to do things and how not to do things, so that they would grow up and become polite, well mannered members of their communities. These children learned that urinating in the swimming pool is not a good thing, that defecating on their neighbour’s steps is not a good thing, and that they must always put their candy wrappers in the garbage and not on the ground.
The parents of these children were proud. They had done a good job of raising them up to be productive and inoffensive. They all patted themselves on the back and went strolling on their merry way. They did not realize, until it was too late, that they had missed teaching their children a very important point; if it is in our mouth and there is no place to put it then keep it inside.
The only realized the error of their ways when they saw these otherwise seemingly well adjusted young people horking indescribably chunks of items unto the sidewalk ….
“Oh my!” they cried in disgust and shock.
“How could we not have taught them how revolting such an act is?” they lamented.
Give me a break.
I just had to get that off my chest. Why is it that some full grown adults, in this case I’m including anyone of legal age (and anyone who likes to think they are full grown), feel they need to leave little pieces of themselves all over the sidewalks and anywhere else that they feel the urge?
A few weeks ago, I was more than a little surprise to see a teenage girl create her own little “prize” (as demonstrated by the sinus sucking sounds she was producing) and, with great gusto, deposit it through air born propulsion, some distance away. It was, I suppose, a rather good shot. I’m sure the people in the food court where she did it were all really impressed…. Likewise, I’m sure the janitor, who had to clean it up, applauded her for all her creativity….
Please. Spitting is just down-right disgusting.
Recently, I had the opportunity to ask a guy I didn’t know why he was living these little presents all over the place (he was depositing them regularly – about one ever 20 or so feet – forcing me to walk around them like pylons in an obstacle course).
“I’ve got a cold,” he responded defensively. “What am I supposed to do?”
Perhaps swallow it? Spit it into a napkin and throw it away when the opportunity arises? Keep it in your nose instead of working so hard (guessing from the sounds…) to produce the product in the first place?
I suppose the whole thing wouldn’t bother me so much if it was only an activity practiced by a select few; the rare, unschooled, unrefined individual who is incapable of understanding the importance of respecting the rights of others, but it seems to be extremely common these days. I can’t even specifically lay it on the heads of this recent generation of young people who are currently using spitting as a way to mark where they’ve been or where they are traveling. As unfortunate as it is, adults, undeniably mostly men, also perform this act with a certain amount of vigor and pride.
Let’s get one thing straight; expelling body parts in front of others, regardless of what orifice it’s coming out of, is simply disgusting and crude.
I have had many moments in my life when the need to urinate has been almost unbearable. Most of the people I know also can come up with moments such as this. It doesn’t hit when there is a toilet within reach either (otherwise I’d never have let it get to that point!). Nope. It hits when I am out and about – at some sort of even that makes it hard to slip away (like on a drive, in the middle of a really good movie or at a concert). Yet not once has this urge caused me to lose my bladder on the front walk. If it ever did happen, I know that I would be humiliated for life at having so little control over my own bodily functions. Taken a step further; I would be apologetic over the incident, not defiant.
We human beings, living in what most of us would like to think of as polite society, wouldn’t even think of squatting down on a main street and leaving a parcel that would require a pooper-scooper. We wouldn’t think of performing this task because we know how truly disgusting that would be. When will the spitters get the message that, to some viewers, what they are doing is equally disturbing?
For the record, let me add that I have yet to meet one woman who finds this habit charming or endearing.
“Oh, look! Isn’t he just the hottest? Did you see how he placed his spit with so much force on the sidewalk in front of that old woman? He’s got so much class!” Sorry spitters. Most women react to this discharge barely managing to keep themselves from leaving a much bigger parcel of waste : Toying with our gag reflexes is not wise.